Claret Cup Cactus

Masquerade

Three dimensional, totally unique, hand painted, sturdy paper mache and gesso, felt lined, ribbons are attached with rivets.

This is meant to be worn or displayed.

What do you think?

So Wrong...

Every now and then I like reading one of those thin, naughty, category romances. Partly, it's to analyze what works and doesn't work craft-wise... though that's sort of an excuse since I can't read anything without paying that sort of attention. This time I grabbed two... both paranormal... it seems like that's all of them these days. The fad will pass, I'm sure.

One had a fortune teller who could see futures. I actually liked that one fairly well. The fortune teller aspect wasn't spooky, just matter-of-fact, and it worked for me.

The other was a time-travel romance.

This is a sub-genre of paranormal that involves one party traveling forward or backward in time and meeting his or her true love. They can be fun. And this one was fun... but it was also so very wrong.

The whole time I was reading it my back-brain was hollering at me that any sane modern person, sent back in time, would conclude that she was insane. One way or the other. I kept thinking that a sane person would not even *try* to return home... she would assume that she was either a person from the future having a hallucination, or a person from the present she finds herself in, but with false memories. The sane thing to do would be to treat the here-and-now as real and make decisions assuming the here-and-now was real... and either way then, no harm done... If she wakes up back in 2009, super. And if she doesn't wake up back in the future, then at least she's been dealing with her present.

It was very distracting.

I've read other time-travel romances that weren't so distracting and I think it was because there was more of a reason for the person to travel. It can be a magical reason... just so long as it makes sense that it exists. One of the ones I've read has a goddess or witch or some such that looks through time and finds the two people and then brings one person through time. Another (which accounts for about all of them I've read) has someone in the past summon a hero and making a mistake over the name. This one had a book and a dress that had absolutely no relevance to the past that was explained and a necklace that was never mentioned again and... sigh... it was just so wrong.

Hey Tree Hugger! Try this one!

Highlander Season Six

Okay, I know what they were thinking... spin-off.

I haven't watched season 6 episode 10 because I simply can not bear to watch it. The last three episodes, including this one, have been job interviews. Unfortunately it was all archetype and no soul. I expect more of the same.

What happened to the fabulous writing? I think it died sometime mid season 5. I realize it's too late. I realize these are old shows and it's way too late. Breaks my heart.

It's not as though it would be impossible to do "immortal female crime fighter" and do it well. But didn't they have the first clue what made Highlander so great? What made Highlander great is that the immortals are tragic figures. The episode where Mary Shelly conceives of Frankenstein got it right... so who ever wrote *that* episode understood it. The immortals are tragic. Either they suffer and endure loss after loss after loss... or they become monsters.

It wasn't *just* that Adrian Paul is the sexiest man alive, but that Duncan MacLeod was simultaneously victorious and wounded, a superman and fragile. And he was best when he loved mortals... Tess or Joe. Amanda is great, but it's not the same. Methos carried those wounds. So did Darius. Richie hadn't had time yet.

They could have done a female immortal and even made her a crime fighter, or body-guard, or bounty-hunter, or spy, and done it so it worked. If the primary focus to start hadn't been to show how kick-ass she was, and if her primary motivation for the profession wasn't to do good in the world.

Live to Kill, or Kill to Live... as one of the writers who actually understood, put it.

The obvious reason to be in a profession like that is the excuse to carry weapons, know how to get false papers and new identities, and keep track of those who might want to kill you.

Or put her at the stage the psych immortal described... when the killing finally overwhelms her and she starts to run, and run, and run, to escape it. But she can't.

That's loneliness and tragedy, being chased by those demons.

I can't watch the last episodes. I have to go back and watch something from season one, to get the foul taste out of my mouth.

Season Six...

And I'm dreading it. I don't even want to watch.

Spoilers, if you care.... For the end of season five.



Duncan is crazy again, and killed Richie. Did we just do this? Didn't he just go nuts and kill his friends? Couldn't they think of something new?

Worse, worse... last episode of season five and Duncan is thinking he might be crazy, and Methos and Joe think he's crazy, and Richie calls and says he saw Joe when Joe is standing right next to Duncan and it seems the most important thing would be that Richie was seeing things too... so why doesn't Duncan say so? Methos and Joe are standing right there. And Duncan runs off without saying anything. And kills Richie.

This is about as dumb as, "Let's split up."

"I think I'm going crazy, but rather than stay with people I trust, I'm going to run around alone and do who-knows-what."

Ugh.

And I was thinking that those writing Highlander were actually rather good.

Valkyrie

So... this is sort of fun.


Update: Oops! Yes, Hulu.com doesn't work outside the US. The link is to the season 5 episode 10 of Highlander, in which Duncan MacLeod and a beautiful female Immortal, along with a German who has an eye-patch but doesn't look all that much like Tom Cruise, attempt to blow up Adolf Hitler.

The company he keeps....

So.

I'm watching the second season of Highlander, an episode creatively titled "Warmonger", and the reporter who is trying to get the story of an evil immortal who has played the power behind the throne, tosses off this explanation of why she is taking the opportunity to interview this very dangerous man: "Stalin is dead. Mao is dead. And Saddam Hussein hasn't been giving interviews lately."

That's from memory so I'm sure it's not exact, but close enough.

I just thought it was interesting that in 1994-ish Saddam Hussein rated an offhand popular cultural reference that paired him, as the then living member, of a very elite company.

George Bush decides to do something about it ten years later and suddenly Saddam is just another guy, no worse than anyone else.

Highlander, Duncan MacLeod

I am really enjoying watching the Highlander TV series on hulu.com.

Not that there isn't an occasional annoying episode but... don't care.

The best, of course, is when MacLeod does the flashbacks that involve barbarian outfits. *sigh*

What was Roger Ebert smoking?

I love The Mummy. I love Jet Li. I was sorry to miss The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor when it was in the theater. So I bought it on DVD.

On the front it says, "The BEST in the SERIES!" - Roger Ebert.

Cool beans, says I.

But now I have to ask, what was the man smoking?

It was horrible!

Firstly, and I apologize to Maria Bello, but Evie was badly cast, badly written, and pathetically directed. Gone, gone, gone was the combination of vulnerability and stubbornness that made Evie so wonderful. The only thing Evie did well in this movie was the fight scenes.

The Evie who gloriously proclaimed "I am a librarian!" was replaced by a woman who wrote sexy stories about their mummy adventures and wanted to write another one to read to adoring fans. It was so wrong. Evie was into serious inquiry. She'd be writing esoteric, fabulously intricate, scholarly works while not fitting into society much better than her husband Rick. She might have written the romance, but she'd be shy and embarrassed about it. (One wonders, did Rachel Weisz read the script and bail?)

Now, this wrongness about Evie was likely made worse by the fact that some bright-bulb decided that the "human interest" element and arc was to be Rick's estrangement from his son, Alexander. Oh, please! Rick's character is simply not, at all, the sort of aloof male that can't unbend around children. Let Alexander attempt to make his own name as any young man with a famous father might do, no matter how close their relationship, but please let us not take out this old saw and substitute it for plot!

Now, the action plot wasn't bad. It had it's moments but all in all it was a fun action plot.

What made the movie hard to watch was how any glimmer of human interaction was destroyed by the dialog. I can think of only a handful of moments that were "real"... the looks between the witch and general... Alexander wanting to go back after Chinese members of his archaeology crew that had been killed... Alexander's first eye contact with Lin (but nothing after that)... the smile of understanding after the witch asked her daughter to sacrifice her immortality... the thoughts that crossed the witch's face when she saw a way to recover the special dagger...

And I am deliberately excluding the horrible father-son touchy-feelie moment. (Although Brenden Fraser shirtless is hard to beat.)

Too much of the dialog was artificial bob-talk. "As you know Bob, or as you can't possibly know, but in any case we must inform the audience... I have the dagger which is the only possible way to kill the Emperor." The dialog over personal matters seemed just as contrived.

While double checking character names and spellings I came across this review that suggests it would have been better to have had Evie die than to replace her with a different actor. I concur. It would also have given father and son a personal story more compelling than trying to pass Rick O'Connell off as an uninvolved father. It *also* would have resonated tremendously with the witch's thousands of years of mourning her dead lover and her daughter's reluctance to let herself love Alexander because she'd have to watch him die and couldn't bear it.

Web-publishing and Gate Keepers

As the result of a discussion about web-publishing and the fact that few people have time to read what they aren't sure they'll enjoy, I've been thinking about what sort of web-publishing would actually work.

Anyone can put a novel or story on a web-page. We might think that this will result in that novel finding an audience, but I don't think there is any reason to think anyone will find it at all. The web actually multiplies the problem of sorting through and finding that novel that is sure to satisfy.

In the end I think that we will be able to do without a great deal of what traditional publishing relies on, even paper and ink, but I don't think we'll be able to do without the Gate Keepers.

I tend to be a dreamer without follow through, and to be honest this isn't an idea without a pretty steep up-front price tag, but these are some of the elements I'm thinking might really work if given a chance:

-First, assume for kicks and giggles that I know a good story when I read it. There has to be an editor or editorial staff to make sure anything offered on the site reaches a professional (or nearly so) quality standard.

-Second, offer complete novels and stories for free. Make it possible to download them into Kindles, PDA's, computers, etc,. Sell sidebar advertisement and signed, POD, high quality paper copies. Only consider pay-to-read subscriptions or pre-releases for popular authors later on.

-Third, get excellent "cover" art and illustrations. Pictures sell books. Consider a "fan art" function and index where amateur illustrations can be posted. Art costs money, so quality might be something to look to improve as time goes on, but essentially, art is necessary for browsing... both art and blurbs. This is the best way to let readers know if they might be interested in the novel or story.

-Fourth, have an intuitive and informative search function that keys to reader (and editor) ratings and key-words and feed-back functions. An "other people who liked this story also liked..." function is necessary.

-Fifth, host live author chats, contests and door prizes.

Expensive to set up!

But could it pay for itself and make money for editor and authors?

I think it could with enough traffic to generate ad revenue.

It also relies on people who find a novel they really like wanting it bound nicely so they can keep it, so that they are motivated to pay for a POD copy of something they read in electronic form. I'm assuming that I'm not the only one who does this. I'm assuming that many people will do this and continue to do this.

While I believe very much in the value of giving things away for free, I also believe that writers and artists deserve to be paid for their labor. Copyright is important. There may come a time when a person can walk into Kinkos and print any book from a copy on their thumb drive... people will do that without paying for the right to do so unless it is easy to direct payment to the author. And it ought to be. Walk-in book binding may be standard in the future and a simple method of coding copyright information and publisher's fees into the file means that book-binders can add that fee and pass it on to the rightful parties. Until then, the nice copy with the glossy cover and even the author's signature can be purchased from the pubisher's web-site.

I'm very much anti-piracy, but lets be clear... a downloaded novel (or song) that is never read (or listened to) is not stolen. In a sense it doesn't even exist. Too much worry that someone will get something for free results in legitimate customers who are annoyed.

So, how did that Charlie Stross thing work out?

Pleading the fifth... or something like that.

I've had the worst time getting any writing done at all. I'm making forward progress though.

I'm still really excited about this story.

My son is ahead of my on word count. :-)

Got to write like Charlie Stross today...

Because I am sooooo behind.

Well, I better get to it!

"His name is Lark, he sees in the dark."

August started to rise but a small hand pulled him down again. "Why are your eyes like that?"

He glanced up at Lady Kirikyan who simply raised one arched brow. What harm in answering, then?

"I had my eyes replaced. My new ones can see in the dark." They could also see infrared and in wavelengths beyond the visual. "They're supposed to look natural so that people aren't made nervous by them."

Lark wrinkled his nose and peered very closely at one eye and then the other. "They look silvery," he announced. "They don't make me nervous. Seeing in the dark is fun."

"He's got a pair of toy goggles," his mother explained. "Time to let the Enforcer go back to work, Lark."

Attention Deficit Disorder

Ava threw herself behind the rotted dumpster, pressed her back up against the slimy prefab extruded surface and tried to suck air into her lungs. She couldn't get enough oxygen, the pounding of her heart filled the spaces that were supposed to bring in air. It throbbed in her neck, her wrists, her gut. It was all she could hear.

It fought in her brain with the need to run farther, to get away.

Or hide.

She reached up to wipe a drip that was making it's way down her chin but her sleeve was worse than her face, she glanced down at her arm and a sob pushed its way past her beating heart.

She was soaked, not with blood, but with everything. Everything that had been her guardian and teacher, everything that had been Maklun Burr. His skin, his flesh, his bones. His brain... she thought his brain had gone the other direction.

Yet somehow it was almost easier to look at what was, now, to focus on it, the bit of cloth stuck in the goo, the part that was a fragment of bone, forcing the details to push out the larger picture burned into her retinas, the glowing muzzle of a shoulder cannon and flash of fire, a sound so loud it approached silence, and the impact, body heat and moisture, as she stood next to her guardian in the main room of their apartment facing Jennat. A woman she'd known her whole life.

Known and trusted.

That she had run at all rather than freeze in confusion and terror was because of something Jennat had once said. It's human nature to freeze. Condition yourself to act in that moment, to attack or to flee. These bits of wisdom would be delivered while her guardian's attention was elsewhere. Jennat was someone that he'd tolerated only poorly.

And now he was dead.

She'd killed him. The shot had ripped through him such that no doctor or regrowth chamber could ever restore his body or mind.

Yeah, I'm supposed to be doing NaNoWriMo... No this isn't my NaNo story for this year... No I didn't write this today, but I found it in my stuff... it goes on for about 10 pages and I'm thinking... no... THIS is what I'm supposed to be working on.

One freaking month... all I have to do is keep my mind focused on one project for ONE month.

The other thing is what needs to be written... and only then I get go back to Ava and how she saves her world and unbalances the universe.