According to this article, 40% of us.
I'm calling BS. Seriously folks, what is going on here? If I were a woman who *was* abused I'd be pissed. Well, okay, probably I wouldn't be angry at all. Probably I'd have such a poor concept of my own worth that it wouldn't occur to me to be angry on my own behalf.
13% of women reported that the abuse went on for 20 years. Now that makes more sense to me. I've known abused women, had co-workers who were abused... and most of them would stay for 20 years. The rest of us have arguments or bad days and exchange snotty, pouty, and hurtful remarks. Some of us grow past this and have our tear filled shout fests *without* the hurtful remarks. Most people have good times and bad times in their relationships. This is normal.
Most of us can tell the difference between being abused and our partner (or ourself) having a bad day. Typically women who are abused stay with their abuser. The reason that this is *typical* is that women who won't stay with an abusive man... don't. I've known or worked with women in that situation as well. They leave him. They don't leave him after it builds up over time, they leave him *now*. Does every self-respecting woman leave her husband or boyfriend when they have their first fight? No.
Does name calling in an fight hurt? Yes. Is it better not to do it? Yes. Is it the same sort of thing as the determined long term tearing down of a person's psyche, you're ugly, worthless, no one else would want you, sort of thing that happens in an abusive relationship? No.
It's not just quantitative, it's qualitative. Abuse isn't the same only more... it's *different*.
I'm calling BS. Seriously folks, what is going on here? If I were a woman who *was* abused I'd be pissed. Well, okay, probably I wouldn't be angry at all. Probably I'd have such a poor concept of my own worth that it wouldn't occur to me to be angry on my own behalf.
13% of women reported that the abuse went on for 20 years. Now that makes more sense to me. I've known abused women, had co-workers who were abused... and most of them would stay for 20 years. The rest of us have arguments or bad days and exchange snotty, pouty, and hurtful remarks. Some of us grow past this and have our tear filled shout fests *without* the hurtful remarks. Most people have good times and bad times in their relationships. This is normal.
Most of us can tell the difference between being abused and our partner (or ourself) having a bad day. Typically women who are abused stay with their abuser. The reason that this is *typical* is that women who won't stay with an abusive man... don't. I've known or worked with women in that situation as well. They leave him. They don't leave him after it builds up over time, they leave him *now*. Does every self-respecting woman leave her husband or boyfriend when they have their first fight? No.
Does name calling in an fight hurt? Yes. Is it better not to do it? Yes. Is it the same sort of thing as the determined long term tearing down of a person's psyche, you're ugly, worthless, no one else would want you, sort of thing that happens in an abusive relationship? No.
It's not just quantitative, it's qualitative. Abuse isn't the same only more... it's *different*.
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